Valentine’s Day has vastly different connotations depending on where you are in your life. Maybe you aren’t in a relationship currently and are wondering when you’re going to meet that “special someone.” Or perhaps you are in a new relationship and still in the “honeymoon” stage. Or maybe you’ve been married to your partner 50 years and are wondering if you still have that spark.
Whether it’s a new relationship that you’re looking for or to renew your current one, understanding that each of us has our own way of showing and receiving love is critical in establishing a healthy relationship. One of the most popular books about communication is Dr. Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.” In his book, Chapman theorizes that people express and receive love in one of five ways:
Words of Affirmation: Do you like to hear your partner say that he/she loves you or do you like it most when you’re complemented by your partner? If so, your love language may be “Words of Affirmation”.
Acts of Service: Do you feel most loved when your partner goes out of his/her way to help you around the house?
Receiving Gifts: Does nothing excite you more than getting a gift from your partner, whether it’s for a special occasion or “just because?”
Quality Time: People whose love language is “Quality Time” prefer to spend one-on-one time with their partner, without any distractions.
Physical Touch: If you’re love language is physical touch, you feel most loved when you’re being touched by your partner, whether it’s a massage or even just holding your hand.
It’s important not only to know your own love language, but also that of your partner so you can make sure that you’re showing love in the way they will recognize. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if your love language is different from your partner’s, but the reward will be great if you stick with it.
To find your own love language, try visiting http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ and taking the love language profile. Sit down and have your partner complete it as well, and get ready to learn more about yourselves and each other. Happy Valentine’s Day!