“The Power of Attachment” by Diane Poole Heller examines the four attachment styles that we fall into and how they play out in our adult significant relationships. She dedicates an entire to the, as she calls it “attachment adaptations;” secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized. Each chapter is full of clear descriptions, origins of the style from childhood, vignettes, and exercises. Most of the exercises have a visualization component to them. The last chapter describes what a securely attached couple exhibits as well as how to work with the insecure styles to create more security.
“We’re hardwired for secure attachment, we have the equipment. Deep down, all of us are designed for intimacy, connection, awareness, and love.”
I’ve previous read “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment” and really enjoyed the content. After reading this one, I prefer it over the other, although, Heller references the work of the authors in “Attached” many times. I preferred this one as it goes deeper into the origins of the attachment styles and explores “disorganized attachment” whereas the previous book did not. I feel as if the exercises in this book will give the reader tangible ways to find more security in relationships as well as hope. Heller seems to be very mindful of not boxing someone into one label and giving hope for security.
Read this book if:
- You are an adult
- Have a desire to learn more about your own or partner’s attachment style
- Want to find more security and stability in your adult relationships
Heller, D. P. (2019). The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
Isn’t this the best title ever? Who wouldn’t want to read this one? Jen Sincero does a great job in this book making the reader feel like they can accomplish any goal they set out to do. The goal could be anything from career, family, relationship, or lifestyle related. She brings personal stories, easy-to-digest chapters, and exercises to help the reader.
Sincero explores everything from our Ego, negative self-talk, and ingrained beliefs that get in the way of achieving our goals to loving and empowering yourself and just going for it no matter what roadblocks you encounter. She discussing aligning your vibration with others who are similar in order to make things happen for yourself.
Remember, everything you desire is right here, right now. You just have to shift your perception in order to see it made manifest.
I have now read this book 2 times and know that I will read it again in the future. I think it’s a great motivational book for anyone, especially if you are taking on a new goal. I personally loved the chapter on fear as well as money. The first time I read the chapter on money, it shifted things so much for me and the second time, it just reinforced the changes I made prior. She has a book all about money that I plan on reading soon.
Read this book if:
- You are setting new goals for yourself
- Finding yourself needing some more motivation
- Struggled with goals in the past
Sincero, J. (2017). You are a badass. Philadelphia: Running Press.
“Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol Dweck examines the concepts of “fixed” and “growth” mindsets. A fixed mindset believes that talents come with us and cannot be improved upon. A fixed mindset spends their time proving their abilities over and over again as well as externalizing and internalizing when problems occur. On the other hand, a growth mindset believes that qualities can be improved upon due to efforts, work, and support from others. When problems arise, a growth mindset would examine the issue and put a strategy in place to remediate. “I can improve” vs “I give up.”
“What any person in the world can learn, almost all persons can learn, if provided with the appropriate prior and current conditions of learning.”
Dweck provides a good understanding in the first few chapters of the two concepts including examples of academic and artistic ability. She then moves into entire sections on sports, business, relationships, parents/teachers/coaches including how the mindsets show up and real world examples of fixed and growth. Lastly, she goes into how to change your mindset to more of a growth. The author points out that we all have fixed mindsets in certain areas and even “false-growth” mindsets. This is important to understand as it is not black and white.
I really enjoyed this book. Keeping the concept simple and unpacking it in various ways really drives the point home. In a similar vein to Malcolm Gladwell, Dweck provides examples of people and businesses that truly exhibit these traits to help the really understand. I was intrigued to continue reading, have found a new perspective for approaching our many intelligences, and learned what it takes to overcome setbacks or “failures.”
Read this book if:
- You are willing to view and approach yourself differently
- Are a leader, parent, coach, teacher, etc
- Interested in change
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Ballantine Books.
“The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff is a cute little book exploring the principles of the philosophy of Taoism. Hoff uses the characters, predominately Pooh to show how their traits and actions reflect Taoism. Such as Pooh being the epitome of the “Uncarved Block,” when he has used his “inner nature,” and following the “Way” by not forcing or interfering and experiencing life as it happens.
“It means that Tao doesn’t force or interfere with things, but lets them work in their own way, to produce results naturally. Then whatever needs to be done is done.”
Each chapter explores a different aspect of Taoism including a conversation with Pooh and a story or two to drive it home. I have tried reading the “Tao Te Ching” that this book was based on and found it more difficult to understand, but it started to click more for me by reading this. I was also interested in this book as oftentimes the characters of Winnie the Pooh are symbols of mental health diagnoses. Overall, I think this is a cute and simple explanation of Taoism.
Read this book if:
- You are interested in Taoism
- Have read the “Tao Te Ching”
- Love Winnie the Pooh
Hoff, B. (1982). The Tao of Pooh. New York, NY: Penguin Books.